Bombs Away

April 30, 2010

Fact #1:  I am angry.

I found out this week that my company would rather lose the 9+ years of knowledge and experience i have rather than allow me to work from home once our site closes.  And they strung me along for two months making me think i would either have an international assignment or be able to telecommute.   I am still being offered a position, but i would have to move if i wanted it and there would be no guarantee i wouldn’t lose my job in a few years. 

Fact #2: I am not that special.

I guess i just felt special.  Special enough worth keeping.  Owed something because i’ve put in countless, unpaid overtime and was willing to travel halfway around the world to train a *phenomenal* group of people and had to find out i was losing my job via a conference call from my hotel room.  How naive of me.  In the corporate eye, i was just a drone, being sucked out of as much life as possible, patting me on the back along the way, telling me what a valuable asset i was.  This is a lie, because if i was valuable, i would be worth retaining, not given an ultimatum.

Fact #3: I’m still angry.

The sad part is, no one cares.  I’m sure everyone from my site who has already lost their job or will be this year felt this same way.  I’m just a late comer, thanks to the aforementioned two months of stringing along.  In a small way, i felt this coming, and at least now i have some certainty about what my future holds…or doesn’t hold…and i can move forward and decide what i want to do with my life.

Fact #4: I have no idea what i want to do with my life.

It’s like i’ve just graduated college and have the whole world in front of me.  Except i have a mortgage to pay each month and credit card debt.  These two things alone necessitate a job that will cover these expenses.  So, what to do?  I have no clue, but i’m sure i’ll figure out something…eventually.


2 Responses to “Bombs Away”

  1. Karen Says:

    So sorry. I’d send you a lamb planner if I could.

  2. Adrian Says:

    Just keep your chin up and be practical in your decision making. Make the best long term decision for yourself and the rest will work itself out.

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