November 6, 2010

It’s really not the thought that counts.  I need actions.  Physical, tangible, in-my-face exploits.  I don’t know what anybody is thinking half the time.  What does “thinking about you” even mean?  “I’m thinking about you.”  That’s great.  How is that helping me in any way?  It’s not. 

I’m not trying to sound bitchy or ungrateful, although i’m sure that’ s exactly what i sound like since i am forever cursed with implying the exact opposite of my intentions.  But i am not changed in any way by your thoughts of me.  I am not suddenly seized with a euphoric happiness because somewhere there is someone wishing joyous karma on my behalf. 

Granted, i do not feel the daggers thrown by enemies, either, but i need actions.  Proof that you are still in some way, albeit small or large, interested in my life.  I’m not asking for any sweeping gestures.  Even an e-mail or text saying hello is sometimes enough, because otherwise, i’m no longer going to invest my time in pretending that at some point you will return my friendship.


One Response to “Thoughts”

  1. Ronald Perrett Says:

    Ah, the good Lord brings you to mind often – Than(!) I’m thinking about you. I pray for you! You’ll never know this side of glory… But, do feel the love!

    Hugs from Dad

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