Obsession

September 30, 2010

We were supposed to bring research to class today on a historical figure.   A dead historical figure.  Our professor told us to write about what we are obsessed with.  To keep a notebook of anything related to that obsession.  I really struggled with this assignment.  I have no obsession with a historical figure.  The only thing i’m obsessed with right now is Burning Man.  Conversations seem dull and empty if i don’t evoke at least one BM reference.

My first thought was to do a piece that featured Larry Harvey, (co)founder of BM, but he is not dead and therefore falls out of the scope of our assignment.  Even historical events interest me more than people.  People of significance don’t stand out to me as much as those who are behind the scenes.  Perhaps this is because i feel part of this underground society.  I notice the unnoticeable, what people overlook, never see.  Truly great people never draw attention to their greatness.  There is no research or biographies on these people.  Someone has deemed them unworthy of notoriety.

The Red Bracelet

September 27, 2010

My red bracelet is the last physical tie i have to my Burning Man experience.  It will be severed on October 7, 2010 in honor of a fellow burner’s birthday wish.  This small token to me is Burning Man.  It’s been saturated in playa dust and no amount of showers can cleanse it.  It is art in the most minimalist form.  It is ephemeral and can only remain a memory in my mind, my being.  It is a gift.   It is a light among the darkness.  A reminder of what life is not.

I am dreading this day because i feel like once it is gone, so will the enchantment, the dreams.  A memory slipping away in the sunset, never to rise again.  This seems dramatic and silly.  I knew it would not last forever.  I was told upfront, even before letting Dawn double-wrap it around my wrist, what the stakes were.  But it has become such a part of me, a daily reminder of my desert affair. 

I know i am capable of remembering without it, but  i am also afraid that without it i will forget its significance.  The closer it gets to October 7th the more fear creeps in, twisting around my veins, infecting me with lies.  I don’t know if i am strong enough yet to fight back.  I let my fears burn with the Man, but the emotional ashes are converging, ready for a rematch and i am standing alone.

Dubsteppin’

September 19, 2010

Once a month, there is (sadly, only) one place in Cleveland you can go hear dubstep music.  I have been looking forward to this night at Touch ever since my return from the desert.  I’ve been grasping for anything that will recreate even a second of what i experienced at Burning Man.

Headliner DJ Chef laid out some wicked beats, which did take me back to those nights on the playa.  Music has that amazing ability to transport you into a euphoric mindset.    But music wasn’t the only element that made Burning Man so great. 

While i was in the restroom, i met a girl who happened to be from San Francisco.  About 95% of the people i met at Burning Man were from San Francisco.  Not too surprising as that was where the event originated.  I immediately loved this girl.  We chatted about how awesome the music was and our Burning Man stories.  All i want to talk about is Burning Man.  Talking about it keeps it close.  Keeps it alive.

Later that night as i moved up towards the DJ booth, i found myself behind the SF girl.  She turned around recognizing me and jump-hugged me.  I felt so at home i wanted to cry.  And i loved her even more.  I miss a lot of things about Burning Man.  One of those is the hugs.  You can’t meet anyone without getting a hug.  There was even a booth devoted to giving out free hugs.

I knew the dubstep would temporarily rekindle my Burning Man flame, but the hug, that one hug from pretty much a stranger, that will carry me just a little bit longer.

Burned by the Burn

September 10, 2010

There are so many stories, thoughts, concepts, and musical revelations i want to share, but i’m still processing it all, trying to come to terms that i’m back in the “real world” and grasping for anything that will take me back to the desert. 

I foresee many posts about my virgin burn.  I don’t know if i’m capable of fully encompassing my experience with words, but i know i have to try.  I can’t thank my campmates (and those i met) enough for making my burn extraordinary.