Mysterious Doors

August 23, 2010

I am uncomfortable with mysterious doors*.  Doors that shouldn’t be there, but are, staring you down in the bathroom, waiting for that unexpected moment of surprise when it opens and exposes you.

There should only be one real door door in a bathroom – the entrance/exit door.  If another non-stall door exists, it should be labeled “closet” or “employees only” but never just a blank door, without any clue as to what’s behind it or where it might lead to or who might walk through without warning. 

And it should never, ever have a vent at the bottom, slits tilted slightly up as if trying to get a flourescent tan from the stark bathroom light.  A vent creates a whole new atmosphere in a closed, one-person bathroom.  A vent means someone could be watching me.

There could be a person standing on the other side of that door, right now.

It suddenly turns a moment of relief into a panicked, rush-driven challenge, because not knowing what that door’s purpose is, leaves lots of room for possible, what i would term, disagreeable scenarios.

It wouldn’t be that hard to label a door.  Tape and a sharpie would be fine with me.  Just something that doesn’t send my minding racing in a thousand directions, which all start with a random person walking through and end with me feeling . . . caught . . . with my pants down . . . literally.

*This excludes random doors leading to other dimensions.  Different Dimension Doors are cool!